I would like to respectfully decline Menopause, thank you very much
Despite being in therapy, we are not getting along very well
If given the choice, I’d take my period over perimenopause. Any. Day. Of. The. Week.
Actually, I’d really like my period back. There are all sorts of medical options for not getting pregnant (also, vasectomies, anyone?) and suspending the bleeding part of periods, so I don’t see how menopause is helping me in any way. It seems like it’s just wreaking havoc on my body and I am not a fan.
I would like my robust collagen-producing engine back. I do not need all the extra cortisol coursing through my body, and I REALLY don’t need the fat it seems hell bent on wanting to store in places it never existed before. This brain fog and forgetting names and words mid-sentence – are you kidding me?! Hard pass.
Irritability, anyone? I have discovered that I have an angry alter-ego I’ve recently named Bullet. She’s a big, angry, testosterone-fueled bull in a china shop. She’s a lot to deal with when she sees red, and it is not hard to trigger her, not at all. She can be pretty tiring to live with and a good bit of work to quiet back down.
And then there are all the things that my hormones going haywire serve up. It seems like an endless laundry list that falls under the heading of “the effects of declining estrogen levels during menopause”:
Cardiovascular disease
Osteoporosis
Weight gain
I could go on with the fun facts, but you get the idea. Not seeing a lot of benefits, but definitely seeing (and feeling!) lots of crappy symptoms and effects:
Hot flashes
Insomnia
Irregular menstruation
Depression
Mood Changes
Vaginal dryness
Night sweats
Decreased Libido
Headaches
Painful Sex
Urinary tract infection
Difficulty concentrating
Vaginal atrophy, resulting in painful intercourse
Breast tenderness
Dry skin
Fatigue
Infertility
Urinary incontinence
Abnormal vaginal bleeding
Thinning hair
Menopause & Longer lifespans
According to the NIH, as women live longer, we’ll spend roughly 40% of our lives in the postmenopausal years, which is more than 30 years for most women. That’s a LONG time.
A few years ago, a friend and scientist I deeply admire and respect, Renée Deehan introduced me to Dr. Jennifer Garrison’s work. This concept in particular struck me as really interesting (if sort of theoretical at the time), but not something that got me super fired up then:
“The moonshot goal would simply be to sync up aging in the ovaries with aging in the rest of the woman’s body, and that would mean extending reproductive span—pushing out the edge of menopause or even getting rid of menopause altogether.”
Dr. Jennifer Garrison talking about Women's Health and Longevity on Inside Tracker’s Longevity by Design video series
Now, I am fired up. Now that I’m in it, I would like to opt out of peri-menopause altogether. It’s just not working for me. Let’s go for that moonshot 🚀
I understand and accept that the healthiest way to age successfully is to embrace it. Generally, I’m on board. I have devoted the last two years to learning as much as I can about AgeTech and the Longevity economy in order to ensure we’ll all have better options as we age, myself included. There are some parts of aging – the accumulated wisdom, experience and perspective it provides – that are downright awesome. I wouldn’t want to trade those for anything. The badass women I surround myself with – who are taking charge, creating and funding companies, stepping into senior government roles (especially in MA) and developing better solutions, products, support systems, providing an understanding shoulder to lean on or just have fun with – they inspire and energize me every day.
But I am not on board with suffering unnecessarily. There are parts of this menopause journey that feel like a lot of unnecessary suffering, even if you’re “in therapy” (aka on HRT), eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, take care of your mental health (no easy feat in this day and age!) try not to stress, and continue to find purpose, stay connected and have a growth mindset.
So I will ask once more, WHO thought this was a good idea?! Are you kidding me?!
I would like to opt out.
Please direct me to the nearest exit.
Anyone else want to meet me there? It should be a fun party filled with lots of other amazing women.
Thanks for reading! Subscribe to receive new posts if you like what you read. If you want to show your support, please react ❤️ comment 💬 or repost 🔁 . It’s an easy (& free!) way to be an ally and show support.
💯, all of it. There’s also the joy of going through all of this and having extremely little, if any, support from male colleagues and even friends who just refuse to even think about trying to attempt to understand. With them, it’s an automatic trip back to the “hysterical woman” trope. Some companies have had the foresight to develop menopause (and andropause (?)) policies that may help in-office workers - which is great, but doesn’t necessarily take remote workers into account. Doing so would return many essential workers to their less hormonally challenged levels of productivity and well-being.
You might enjoy this Claire Zulkey post 😆 https://www.evilwitches.com/p/what-is-perimenopause-really-like?